There is an information panel in front of the castle that beings with the following line:

"You are following the route of the Highways of the Sea Kingdoms."

The Sea Kingdoms!! Holy shit. Castle Stalker is one of many sea castles on the west coast of Scotland. I’ve tried to google the sea kingdoms and only a book by Alistair Moffat shows up on the topic. These sea castles were built on rocks at sea for easier access in an age where there were few easy land routes. Castle Stalker was built around 1450 and it actually looks terrifying. It looks like something out of a horror movie, and it’s most definitely haunted right?

The drive up to Aros Castle is literally a driveway to someones home. There’s a trampoline and swing set right next to the castle. Only in Scotland. The castle was built in the 13th century by the MacDougalls before it was taken over by, you guessed it, the Campbell clan. It had been described as “ruinous, old, useless and never of any strength.”

This awesome castle can be spotted on the ferry from Oban to Craigmure, and look at the photos on google of how incredible it is! Unfortunately, it was covered in scaffolding while I was there. I get it, it’s in the middle of a restoration, but I couldn’t hide the disappointment that I didn’t get to see it in its full glory. Don’t get me wrong, it was still spectacular. In 1350 it was given as a dowry from the Lord of the Isles to the Chief of the Clan Maclean, and the Maclean’s are still owners of the castle to this day (after buying it back from those pesky government troops of Clan Campbell). The inside of the castle was so well done, featuring the history of the castle, Clan Maclean and around the Isle of Mull. I was staring out the window looking across to the mountains when a man in full kilt regalia came up next to me and started pointing out the mountain names. Then he disappeared. Was he even real? Had I taken some strange island hallucinogens? I’ll never know.

Detouring to the castle on my way to Oban I see the other sign I love so much, the sign that the castle is under care of Historic Scotland. Which means free entry for yours truly. My Historic Scotland membership has already paid for itself at least 3 times over. Dunstaffnage is one of Scotland’s oldest stone castle, dating back to the 13th Century. I headed to the museum first which stated that the original stronghold that the castle was built upon/over, once kept the Stone of Destiny. The castle is now in ruins, apart from the gatehouse that was built in the 15th Century which is still used by the castle’s officer called the Hereditary Captain of Dunstaffnage, who is required to spend 3 nights a year in the castle. And that is his only responsibility. Ooh, there’s also the castle ghost known as “Ell-maid of Dunstaffnage”. Cool.

This is some Blair Witch shit.

Caerphilly Castle was the first of many castles we saw in Wales. We arrived at around 6pm, it was pitch black, freezing and we considered turning the car around and just coming back the following morning. But we convinced ourselves to at least walk around the castle and enjoy it at night. Thank the Gods we did! We noticed a long queue of people heading into the castle so we decided to follow them and see what was happening. The lady in reception asked us if we were here to see the screening of Beauty and the Beast. OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS?? We managed to get a seat (it was fully booked but people missed out due to traffic - sorry not sorry!!) So we watched my favourite movie of all time inside a 13th Century Castle. What an amazing start to Wales!
We headed back to Caerphilly the following morning, there was snow over the mountains, and honestly it was the coldest I have ever been in my life. But that castle! Look at it! Caerphilly was built between 1268-1290 and is the second largest castle and has the most elaborate water defences in all of Britain.

So, this is Inverness Castle, now home to Sheriff Court and not open to the public. We were here for a total time of 7 minutes.

I love the fact that an entire town and countless businesses exist simply based on a 100 year old myth/fraud. Yes, Loch Ness is possibly the most commercialised spot in all of Scotland. Yes, we sailed around the lake looking for Nessie. Yes, I bought Nessie memorabilia from the gift shop. JUDGE NOT!